Tag Archives: Limiting beliefs

The Value in Terrible Art

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This week, I drove to my old house in Pennsylvania to pick up some old art supplies and canvas I had left there when I moved out. My hope had been to assess what was there and potentially use some of it back in my New Jersey studio– art supplies can be expensive, at time, and I am no stranger to using what I have or gesso-ing over an old or failed painting so as not to waste the canvas. When I got there, I found three or four old, painted and half-painted pieces, including a huge 60″x48″ canvas. The date at the bottom of the painting read August, 2005.

And it was terrible. Really terrible.

I loaded them up and drove them to my home in NJ with plans to get each into the studio and painted white immediately. I didn’t want anyone to see them– as far as I was concerned, they didn’t represent my passion, talent, or potential and I didn’t want anyone judging my current work based on this old, awful stuff. Frankly, I was a little embarrassed of them. Continue reading →

To Work for Free or Not to Work for Free? The Creative Question

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Once you become an artist– in any capacity– I can guarantee you that someone, somewhere is going to ask you to work for free. It might be a doodle, a drawing, a “quick” design, a piece that comes along with “tons of exposure for you,” or a “great addition to your portfolio,” and the person asking for it would like to use it without paying for it.  For every artist who gets roped into doing unpaid work at one point or another, there is an online rant about why you shouldn’t be working for free; and for every online rant about why artist’s shouldn’t work for free, there’s a post or snippet about how artists have become “money obsessed” and have forgotten how to make art for the love of making art. And every once in a while, some huge company will have to deal with a bunch of angry creatives for trying to offer the “opportunity” for artists to let them use their work, again, without having to pay for it. It happened to Google in 2009, when the mega-company offered dozens of prominent and up-and-coming artists the chance to contribute their work to their newest web project and be paid in “exposure to millions.”

The artists were unimpressed, and even insulted, by Google’s offer. Thousands rallied, albeit digitally, against the company, who reported profits in the range of 1.5 billion that year and still refused to compensate the artists it was asking to participate. Still, despite the artists who refused the offer on principle, Google still found those who were willing to work for exposure alone. You can read the NY Times article here.

So where does the line exist for we creatives? Should we do work without getting paid for it? I would like to suggest that the answer is yes… and no.

First and foremost, as a creative, you are providing a service to society. You are exploring and answering questions of imagination, boundaries, and culture. You are making a visual record of the time and place in which you live. This service that you are providing– whether you are a painter, and illustrator, a graphic designer, a photographer, etc.– is immensely important. As such, you time, your talent, and your services are valuable. That means they’re worth something, and in this day and age, “something” is most often monetary compensation.  At the same time, I am not of the belief that a a lack of active payment, clients, or commissions should stop anyone from creating and producing art. There is something to be said for creating for the sake of creating and for the love of what you do. Only by practicing our craft do we get better, and if you are a creative and you do not create, you open yourself up to experiencing great frustration and dissatisfaction in life. I don’t think that the argument of whether a creative should work for free is really asking- “Should you do work unless it is paid for by someone else;” and to approach it as if there is any suggestion that one should not create for the pure love of their craft or for their own sake is to misinterpret the issue.

Inevitably, though, you will be asked by someone to do something for free. Whether or not you choose to take the job without any compensation is entirely up to you and your own professional guidelines, however, here are some general suggestions I would like to offer as a result of my experience over the years… Continue reading →

“How long is too long?” Or, Why artists make terrible bloggers.

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Saying it’s been a while would be a massive understatement.  I’m pretty sure I haven’t legitimately blogged since August.  To be fair, I spent September through December finally finishing my last semester of graduate school, and am now the proud owner of a very fancy and very expensive piece of paper.

In all seriousness, my degree is in urban studies and community arts, and I am endlessly proud of myself for actually working through this and finishing, regardless of how long it took me; and I’m endlessly grateful for those people in my life who have supported me and encouraged me throughout the process. I am also pretty grateful that it’s over. Don’t get me wrong – I have always loved school, and I have always been a good student, but I was ready to be done this particular phase of my life.

I spent January and February recovering from the process. I know, that seems totally dramatic, but it felt like I worked nonstop for months and months and kept promising myself a break that never came. When January arrived and I had actually graduated, all the breaks I promised had added up! The last two months have seen me functioning. Not really reaching out and doing anything huge or worthwhile, but maintaining. Keeping the house, keeping my standard clients, doing a few small artistic projects, getting dinner on the table most nights, and not much else. For the first two or three weeks, I felt intensely guilty about this. Intensely guilty about not doing enough, taking advantage of my new skills, doing something that justified having this new degree, and, frankly, not blogging.

Guilt is a funny subject for most creatives– we all seem to feel it much more intensely than others because, many times, our creative productivity (and sometimes our jobs) rely solely on our own internal motivation. Most of the people in our lives don’t eve recognize our art as anything more than a hobby, and if we’re lucky they may classify it as a “side job,” let alone do they realize the work, effort, and constant self-motivation it takes to do something because you love it, and not simply because you get paid for it. No one pushes you to be a creative– it’s something you’re born with, and it often has to begin and end with the resources we have on the inside as individuals. There is no boss pushing and motivating, no company offering incentives and raises, and sometimes, there aren’t even parents and loved one pushing and hoping for your success as a creative. If I had a dollar for every time someone in my family asked, “Are you working yet?” I wouldn’t worry about promoting myself as an artist. Continue reading →

Updates, New Work, Creative Challenges, & a Confession

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There has been a lot going on here in my little home studio!

As you may have seen in my last post, my birthday was at the beginning of the month – I turned 28. Twenty eight marks 16 years since my grandfather taught me to paint with oils. Twelve years since I marched myself down to the guidance office at school and demanded that they replace all of my math and science classes with art and music classes. Ten years since I graduated high school and decided to attend The Art Institute of Philadelphia. Seven years since  I graduated with a Bachelor’s in Graphic Design. Four years since I started painting again after having given up on the art after college. And, I decided while reflecting on my 28th birthday over a glass of wine and sushi with a friend, high time I started taking myself as seriously as I wanted others to.

It’s confession time – I have always relied on others to value me and my talents more than I value them myself, because placing real value on the things that I chose to do made me uncomfortable. It made me uncomfortable because if I grabbed on to something – like art – and threw myself into it and failed, I would be devastated; but if other people insisted I should throw myself into it and I kind of did, I couldn’t be blamed if it went terribly awry. I have grappled for years with art not being a serious enough endeavor, but more so with not believing I was good enough to make it one.  Continue reading →

Creating Creativity

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Creativity Right Brain Left BrainI have always heard people say, either to myself or any other ‘obviously’ artistic person in the room at the time, “OMG, you are sooo creative. I could never do that!” or, “I wish I could be as creative as you are!” or, even better, “How do you come up with that stuff? It’s amazing how it just comes from no where…”

I’ve learned to recognize these as comments in passing, for the most part. I don’t take the time to explain to them that I believe that we are all creative beings, and that our creativity comes from our spirit – that which makes us human, the “infinite intelligence” that Deepak Chopra writes about.  The only variations, I believe, are the level to which each of us has allowed creativity to be cultivated within us, and the form of expression we choose to use.  Even those of us who have taken on the title “artist”, “musician”, or the like, have moments that the creativity stream seems to run dry – the ideas seem to disappear, and with them go the motivation and any clue of what to do next.

We’re living in the era of creativity. No longer is it only artists, musicians, and writers who are expected to be creative – everyone is.  Businesses and corporations want increasingly creative solutions. Creative ‘giants’ like Google, Behance, and Apple are at the top of the economic ladder.  More and more people are employed in a creative capacity, and more and more people have taken their employment into their own hands. So, if creativity is in all of us – even those who make no claims at being an “artist” – and we all need it, how do we get to it? Continue reading →

Artist’s Date #9: How Often Do You Tell Yourself “No”?

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My new garden - strawberries and peppersOne of the challenges The Artist’s Way has thrown my way is to consider how often I tell myself “no” and why.

As creatives (or even human beings!), many of us spend much of our lives squelching all that is frivolous, impractical, and seemingly unnecessary about ourselves, whether it be taking a math class instead of that pottery class we really felt drawn to or not allowing ourselves to invest in that new set of brushes because they were “too expensive to justify spending on a hobby.”  Don’t misunderstand – I know as well as anyone that sometimes you have to take math, and many times there is no way to sidestep the boundaries of a budget; however, I also know that self-denial is an easy habit to pick up, and we can often lose ourselves in the cycle of “no” for the sake of saying “no”, or because it feels easier and safer than allowing our inner children to be a little frivolous and impractical, or perhaps because we don’t think we deserve to be indulged.

I am the type of person that genuinely enjoys celebrating other people. I do birthdays. Holidays thrill me. I love buying and making gifts for the people in my life. Over the years, I have learned that not everyone shares this particular sentiment, though most of the people that end up in my circle, so to speak, learn to just accept it from me. You don’t want a birthday present? Be prepared for me to shrug and give you one anyway. You don’t need it, you say? Well birthday presents wouldn’t be nearly as fun if you needed them, would they?

I had grown accustomed to the occasional gift/party/etc. being accepted with a small sigh of resignation (ahem, Jeff), but no one had ever challenged me on my, shall we say, celebratory preferences, until I met and began dating my current fiance, Chris. (He will surely mention this name-drop when he gets home tonight, but frankly, he’s gotten away pretty easy so far) After we had been dating for a while and I knew him well enough to know when his birthday was without it being creepy, I had the realization that I was the unfortunate member of the pair to decide whether and how to recognize his birthday, since his came before mine on the calendar. It would have been much easier if mine had come first – to let him decide if we had been dating long enough to “do” birthdays or not and set the precedent. Clearly, I was out of luck, and I spent days agonizing over how to handle the upcoming birthday for fear of doing too much, or worse, too little. Continue reading →

A Creative Funk: 27 Publishers & the Art of Failing

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Dr. Suess' first bookIt happens to the best of us.

One only has to look at the countless blogs, websites, photo galleries, video montages, and television shows dedicated to people messing up, doing stupid things, and best intentions turning disastrously bad to  realize that everyone fails, in some sense of the term, at some point in their existence – and our society has come d0wn with a slight obsession with watching people do so. I guess it’s fair to say that watching other people fail usually means you aren’t, or, at the very least, makes your fails seem less fail-y.

Coming off of a two week hiatus from The Artist’s Way, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to fail. To take it a step further, I’ve been thinking about what the conclusion means about me once I’ve determined whether I’ve actually failed or not. What separates failure from success? What does it mean if I’ve failed? Do I have to start over? Can I pick up where I left off? Has the entire endeavor been made less effective because of a tad of failure in the middle?

The Artist’s Way was the great endeavor of my new year. I had committed myself to taking the time and the space necessary to develop my passion, creativity, and inner artist. Yet, for the past two weeks, I haven’t read a single page from the book (despite completing five straight weeks ot readings and exercises with great success!). I haven’t blogged. I haven’t gone on a new Artist’s Date. I haven’t done any exercises or even created on my own. I’ve been in a downright creative funk. Continue reading →

Creative Reality: Everyone Fakes it, Right?

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acrylic paints art creativity“People frequently believe the creative life is grounded in fantasy. The more difficult truth is that creativity is grounded in reality, in the particular, the focused, the well observed or specifically imagined… Art lies in the moment of encounter: we meet our truth and we meet ourselves; we meet ourselves and we meet our self expression. We become original because we become something specific: an origin from which work flows.”

I spent most of my life – albeit only 27 years – vigorously avoiding the title “artist.” It took loosening and overcoming deeply embedded beliefs that art was not a “real” or “good enough” profession, that I wasn’t good enough to “make it”, and that, as an artist, I would forever be poor, starving, and struggling before I was able to begin to embrace the dreaded title. Once I graduated high school, I stopped creating altogether, and were it not for the help and encouragement of a good friend, I may not have picked up a brush for longer than the nearly five years it took to begin painting once again. These days, I have embraced the title. I identify as an “artist” and it is my profession. Most of my time (notice I didn’t say spare time!) is focused around my artistic career – whether I’m painting, researching, sketching, or blogging. I have finally become okay with this. I can say, “I am an artist” without any adverse reactions.

Now, I suffer from a different feeling altogether – I fear that I’m a fake. Continue reading →

Morning Pages

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Writing morning pages meditationAs I mentioned in my last post, as part of my New Year’s resolutions, I have been working through the 12 week course, “The Artist’s Way.“  The past year has been a struggle with creativity for me, and it is my hope that I can make this year different. I had heard about this course before, and when I stumbled across the the book in Barnes and Noble just after the new year, and I felt compelled to get it and complete the program.

It has not been easy. Instead of a nice, creative stroll through the park, so to speak, the assignments have been many and each one challenging in a different way. This year holds so much potential for my artistic career, and this course will be the thing that will jump start the process – I can feel it!

One of the requirements if the course is to do an exercise called “Morning Pages”. Morning pages are time spent each morning writing three pages of stream of consciousness. In other words,  for the past few weeks, the first thing I do every morning is sit down and write three pages of whatever I’m thinking. I fill three pages even when I feel like I’ve run out of things to write. I write three pages even when I don’t feel like it. I write three pages even when I spend the first half of the first page writing, “I have no idea what I’m supposed to be writing.”

This may sound like a waste of time. I thought so too, and the first week seemed especially wasteful. Despite feeling like I was spending precious, hand-cramping hours writing for no good reason, I kept at it. Every morning I write, because I made a commitment to myself and my dreams to finish this course and follow it’s instruction down to the last detail.

After the first week, I started to notice a difference. Continue reading →

The Creative Process

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Creative ProcessI didn’t make this chart, but it descries pretty accurately what I feel like I experience most of the time when it comes to my art. When I stumbled across it one day, I immediately said to myself, “Oh my. There’s someone else?!”

I’m always a little pleased to figure out that other people may experience the same levels of frustration, the same coming and goings of inspiration and motivation, and the same tendency to end up surfing the internet for hours looking for one or the other when the intention was to be creating something.

It’s interesting to me that I seem to do my best work at the rare moments that I am both inspired and motivated. The rest of the time I find myself with one and not the other. Disaster – in the form of naps and stumble upon – usually ensues.

I’m grateful for those rare moments when things seem to align and the creative process comes easy and feels natural. But I am also grateful for the times that I have to push through seemingly countless obstacles just to finish a painting or force myself to sketch – because it’s those times, when it doesn’t come easy and it feels difficult and I do it anyway, that demonstrate to me how much I really love creating and how much I thrive off of the process (all of its parts!) and make me appreciate the easy times even more.